INHUMANS on IMAX (Dragonlord's Review)

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Dragonlordxxxxx, Aug 31, 2017.

  1. Dragonlordxxxxx

    Dragonlordxxxxx Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    Update: August 30, 2017

    Dragonlord's Review of Marvel's INHUMANS on IMAX


    Bottom Line: I must have done something wrong in my past life to be subjected to this atrocity.

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    The first two episodes of Marvel's Inhumans are screened on IMAX ahead of its September 29 premiere date on ABC. Save your money and don't waste your time in this godawful money grab.

    It starts with an Inhuman girl being chased by a group of heavily-armed mercenaries in a rainforest in Hawaii. Trident (Mike Moh) tries to save the girl but both end up getting shot. This whole segment is so laughably bad with some cringeworthy dialogue to boot. The girl's acting is so atrocious. When she's supposed to be running for her life, she looked like she was leisurely jogging through a park. The quality control is so pitiful that when a bleeding Trident falls off a cliff, the water that splashes around his body is already colored red.

    After that debacle, we moved to the cloaked Inhuman city of Attilan located on the surface of the moon. We are introduced to the Royal Family: The king, Black Bolt (Anson Mount); the queen Medusa (Serinda Swan); Black Bolt's brother, Maximus (Iwan Rheon); the King's adviser, Karnak (Ken Leung); head of the Royal Guard, Gorgon (Eme Ikwuakor), the princess; Crystal (Isabelle Cornish) and the royal pet and teleporter, Lockjaw, which looks like a giant bulldog.

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    The story is not bad, but formulaic and just badly executed. The action looked amateurish even for TV standards. Maximus stages a coup but the Royal Family escapes to Earth thanks to Lockjaw. The Attilan scenes were kinda decent. The sets were iffy, half of them looked satisfactory while the other half looked really cheap, bare and unimaginative. The whole thing goes downhill fast when the Royal Family arrives on Earth. Each of them separated and displaced throughout Hawaii. Each of them have their own boring arcs.

    Since Black Bolt does not talk, Anson does what he can with his limitations. When he's not glowering and scowling, Black Bolt communicates through sign language. His fish-out-water adventures on Earth is played for comedic effect which does not always succeed. I was amused at his facial reactions in the police precinct though.

    The special effects on Medusa's hair is just terrible and just makes the beautiful Serinda look like a drag queen. The hair looks as bad on the big screen as it did on the trailers. Maximus shaving Medusa's hair is the best thing that could have happened to her. Medusa looked a thousand times better with a shaved head than when she had her locks.

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    With his candidness (tactlessness) and his ability to sense weak points, Karnak is the "best" and most entertaining character among them all. One of the rare cool moments of the show was when Karnak visualize multiple scenarios and outcomes of a battle. (But I still believe Joe Taslim or Ben Whishaw would have killed it as Karnak.)

    After his memorable stint as Ramsay Bolton in Game of Thrones, Iwan's Maximus seemed so tame and generic. It doesn't help that Maximus is written like the typical evil brother grabbing power. As for the rest of the Inhumans, Gorgon is given a dull storyline with him hanging around a bunch of surfers, Crystal is so pretty to look at but not much else and Lockjaw is adorable, though the CGI is a bit iffy.

    Clocking in at a disappointing 75 minutes, Inhumans is unsatisfactory viewing and everything about it doesn't deserve to be shown in a cinema. Marvel should stop hiring Scott Buck who wrote this piece of crap and is also the showrunner for the much-derided Iron Fist season one. Marvel Television should be ashamed for transforming this once-potentially awesome franchise into one of the worst superhero shows in modern TV history.

    Rating: 3.5/10
     
  2. M3t4tr0n

    M3t4tr0n I am the walrus.

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    Lol sounds terrible!

    <{you!}>
     
  3. HwoarangStyle

    HwoarangStyle Black Belt

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    Holy shit LOL
     
  4. Rav1n1983

    Rav1n1983 Brown Belt

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    Thanks for taking one for the team Dragon
     
  5. Fluffernutter

    Fluffernutter Brown Belt

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    Should we expect this won't tie into an Illuminati themed project in the future MCU?
     
  6. GearSolidMetal

    GearSolidMetal I'm here to chew bubblegum and bang your mom.

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    Had a feeling this was going to be a shitshow.
     
  7. Limbo Pete

    Limbo Pete Super Samoderator Belt Staff Member

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    God
    Fucking
    Dammit
     
  8. lordsai

    lordsai Purple Belt

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    lol guess filming in imax means jack shit with a shitty ass script that's disappointing i like the inhumans maybe they should have stuck to the movie
     
  9. Loiosh

    Loiosh Detective

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    Well, that's too bad. Hoped this was going to be good.
     
  10. irish_thug

    irish_thug Gold Belt

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    Damn
     
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  11. RoryFan

    RoryFan Wears Hats

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    Wow, I feel like you're pretty lenient on your ratings usually so this must truly fucking suck. I kinda wanna watch it now.
     
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  12. One MMA Fan

    One MMA Fan #1

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    What a surprise !!! why I never saw this coming.........

    <Kpop775>
     
  13. Ikuza

    Ikuza Green Belt

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    Why's the runtime so short? It's two episodes plus bonus material (one of the hooks for going to see it in IMAX).
     
  14. Lights Out 101

    Lights Out 101 Green Belt

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    Holy shit. I wasn't expecting to be great but I wasn't expecting it to be that bad either.
     
  15. One MMA Fan

    One MMA Fan #1

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    So they don't make people vomit.. that's the limit any more and people will start lawsuits.

    *TV run-time will have extra footage, that's the hook to make you watch it again on the small screen lol.

    <Oku02>
     
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  16. One MMA Fan

    One MMA Fan #1

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    To soon bro... to soon.

    <{1-11}>
     
  17. heavyarms21

    heavyarms21 Ryozanpaku Belt

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    I just blame Finn Jones for every wrong thing Marvel has done .



    All kidding aside way to fucking Nerve a lot of good Material to work with. Yes InHumans us not an easy thing to adapt buy for fucks sake.
     
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  18. Rav1n1983

    Rav1n1983 Brown Belt

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    Last edited: Aug 31, 2017
    One MMA Fan likes this.
  19. One MMA Fan

    One MMA Fan #1

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    Insert a spoiler thing on that bad boy just in case of any late party arrivals. :D
     
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  20. Organic Damage

    Organic Damage Alive and ticking inside

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    The one time when the terrible screenshots were an accurate representation of the final result.

    Oh well, if there's anything good to come out of this, it'll be that Scott Buck never works for Marvel again. I'm sure DC is hiring!
     
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